Co-Parenting or Co-operative Parenting – what does it mean?
Sarah Harding of Hodge Jones & Allen
“Co-Parenting” is a phrase used widely by lawyers and Judges when discussing the welfare of a child who is subject to a dispute between two parents, in any Children Act proceedings.
The President of the Family Division, Sir Andrew MacFarlane, recently said that “Co-Operative parenting” perhaps with a few bumps in the road is a phrase which is likely to be better understood by parents. CAFCASS agree with this and say that whilst the phrase “co-parenting” is used widely by professionals, it is rarely by parents themselves.
So what do each of these phrases mean and what is being referred to by these phrases?
Almost always, when this phrase is used, it will mean building a better relationship with the other parent to enable you to take actions, and make decisions in the best interests of your child.
Ways to do this can include:
Separating your personal feelings towards your ex partner from the parenting relationship you have with your ex partner enabling you to make decisions in your child’s best interests.
Ensuring that you consult with the other parent in relation to all important decisions regarding your child
Ensuring you have an effective line of communication.
Always speak positively about the other parent in front of and in ear shot of your child
Try to respect the other parent’s parenting style even if it differs with your own
Ensuring you do not discuss financial issues or any court proceedings with your child or in front of your child
We understand it is not easy and it takes two willing parents and a little bit of work to be able to move forward in an effective “co-parenting/co-operative parenting relationship”. There are a number of tools available to assist:-
Our Family Wizard is an excellent tool to assist with improving communication.
The Parents Promise is an excellent tool to improve commitment to working together.
Consider Mediation where agreements cannot be reached easily between you on important issues
The Separated Parenting Information Programme is a great course, the aim of which is to help you put the needs of your children first, whilst separating.